Why would you want to be a therapist?

Because it’s a way you can gain power.

Everything we do in our negative orientated mind and will lives is to gain power, an attempt to re-gain the power our parents deprived us of naturally feeling and expressing as we grew up.

Our parenting is mostly all negative, yet we call it loving. So much of it had a negative unloving effect on us as seen by our having repressed childhood feelings – our childhood repression. And yet we call it all love.

In our unloving states as we grew up we felt powerless many times. Just look at how parents treat their children – does the child have equal power with the adult? No, the whole thing about being a child, so we seem to believe, is that the child is inferior and can’t nor shouldn’t have equal power. And so by treating our children this way we make them feel powerless, we’re always de-powering them, always pulling the rug out from under them. We might try and pump them up in other ways, trying to make them feel all-powerful and loved, but it’s all too late, and all on a condition of previous powerlessness.

And as children we don’t want to feel powerless. We do all we can to gain power within our family, some people being more successful at it than others. Yet it’s still all ONLY a subset of our parents all-powerful dominion.

And so all we do as adults is done to try and maintain our false-power within our powerless states, within our negative condition. And so those people who feel they can help others by being a therapist really see being a therapist as their means of having power, of trying to make up some of their childhood power deficit. And it’s acceptable. Being a therapist is ‘good’, so we all say, it’s a good way to try and re-gain power. Whereas being a murder is bad, that is unacceptable and not the ‘right’ way to re-gain power. And the therapist is held in high esteem, they can actually help others to shed some of their feelings of powerlessness possibly helping or enabling them to find new ways of re-gaining some of their lost and denied power.

So is it good to seek to gain power by using others to do so? Or is it that we’re happy, or at least pretend we are happy, with the trade off. We allow the therapist to use us because we believe and feel we are getting something out of it, something that will eventually and hopefully make us feel more powerful and better about ourselves? And so, is it right that therapists say you must not attempt to do your childhood repression healing without their help, and if you do… look out, all manner of bad things might happen to you.

And yet don’t misunderstand me, I only want to point out the truth of such things as I have come to see them. And I also understand that within our fuckedness we do need help, and help from those who may be using us to gain power. But that’s how it is within the negative – it can’t be any other way. But in time as you progress in your feeling-healing, the truth will come and along with it your own feelings of power – true power. And so your need to be dependant on such help from anyone else will diminish, to one day, end, the day when your childhood repression healing is over and you no longer feel powerless and under the regime of your parents. And what a great day that will be!

IT’S MY TURN NOW!

I had to obey my parents – NOW YOU HAVE TO OBEY ME! And you just have to, because I say. I don’t need a reason, I don’t need to justify it, I don’t need to tell you why – YOU JUST DO! You do because I say so – AND THAT IS ENOUGH! I am the parent now, you are not, you are the child – I HAVE THE POWER. You do not.

When I was a child they had power over me. They made me feel powerless. I was powerless. I had no say – no say in my own life. They had all the say and I had to obey. The were BIG, I was small, and that was enough. What could I do? Nothing. And I hated it. I hated them. I hated how they treated me – their own child.

And I wanted to smash them. I wanted to scream and yell and make them stop. I tried but it did me no good. But I still wanted to and still do want to even though I had to bury and repress such bad feelings. I want to rage. I want to tell them how much they have hurt me. I want to tell them how much I feel unloved by them – my own parents.

I want to smash my anger and rage all over them, but I can’t. So what can I do with it all? I look around to dump it on someone else. Someone lesser than I. And I find that person – my own child. And I breathe a sigh of relief as finally, FINALLY, there is someone I have power over. Finally I can make someone do what I want. Finally I can make them be how I want them to be. Finally I am BIG and they are small. And they don’t get a say. They can protest and try to resist all they want but it won’t get them anywhere. Because I am the strong one and they are weak. They loose; I win. And I feel good. I can even say to them: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. And they can’t say anything other than they love me too more than anything in the world, because if they don’t say it, I’ll smash them. And they know it. I’ve done it plenty of times before.

My parents made me feel bad, so I want to make someone or something else feel bad, even if I do it in my imagination. I can’t make them feel bad, I am too powerless with them to do that – they had all the power. But I can make someone or something else that is not them feel bad. And that is how it is meant to be – isn’t it? Isn’t it what they taught me? Isn’t it how we are meant to live our lives? When it’s our turn, when we’ve grown up, then we can be the boss, then we can do all we want, then no one can tell us NO! STOP THAT! and stop us. Then we are free. And we all want to be free – RIGHT!

Free to finally make another person or creature feel bad. And it’s so easy to do. Just have a child, it couldn’t be easier…

Did you grow up on good feelings?

We are supposed to grow up feeling good. Filled up with good feelings. Year and years of our formation built upon feeling good.

And yet look at how we form: subjected to endless bad feelings.

How many bad feelings where you subjected to in the womb? How many did you feel yourself? How many bad feelings where you made to feel as a baby? How many bad feelings were you made to suffer the agony of as a young infant? How many bad feelings traumatised you as a little person? How many times did you feel, unwanted, unloved, rejected? How many times did you feel shame, guilt, humiliation, ridicule, angry done to you by your ‘loving’ parents? How many times were you made to feel you have no rights, you are powerless, you are weak, you are nobody, nothing? How many times did you feel like no one wanted you, you were just a waste of space?

And all of these times sapped you of your vital life force, making you call upon extra energy you couldn’t afford to use.

All of these times have made you loose your true self, making your mind take over from your natural feeling-inspiration fabricating a false untrue you – the front you put on for the world. The front that says: I’m okay.

As adults we coach our sporting teams on positive affirmation. We pump up the players on ‘feel-good’ mind rubbish, so we can delude ourselves even more that we are GOOD. That we are THE BEST. That we are THE GREATEST. That we FEEL GREAT! And out we go to perform, to compete, to win. Out we go soaring to great heights in our all-powerful fantasises.

And yet, do we at least do the same for our children, even though it is all false?

No. Instead we beat them up, break them down, all in the name of ‘toughening them up for the real world’, making them feel useless, powerless, pathetic. Not warriors for life, but creatures of self-denial and delusion. Some of whom might one day even manage to become out great sporting heroes.

The ultimate self-help book

There is ONLY ONE self-help book you need – that which you will ‘write’ as you do your childhood repression healing.

All the rest are a waste of time if they keep you from your childhood repression healing.

If you need help in book form (or in person form for that matter, such as a therapist, counsellor or friend) and want to do your childhood repression healing, look for those that will help you STOP denying your bad feelings; will STOP you from using your mind to deny them even more.

Look for a book that will help you accept your bad feelings, express them and seek the truth of them. Look for books that will show you how to express yourself – all your thoughts and feelings – truly. Look for books that focus more on feelings and less on mind control.

Too many self-help books are mind controlling. And as such might seem they will help you, and may do so in the short term, but in the long run they will only make you feel worse. And be aware that a lot of books might speak about feelings and help you to express them, but will still only be mind controlling books in ‘feeling-disguise’.

You are your own book waiting to be written. It is ALREADY written – you only have to bring it into being. And that will only happen through your feelings.

Euthanasia

We are so scared of death. It’s one of our greatest dreads. Keep the person alive at all cost – no matter how much they are suffering.

Don’t allow anyone to take their own life. Don’t allow anyone to have complete control over their own life. Don’t allow us any freedom to be an adult (or child).

Just be the parent telling the child what to do.

Must we always have the authority telling us what to do and how to be – parents treating us as children who don’t know any better?

When will we ever be allowed to grow up becoming responsible for our own lives?

When will we understand that great release can come with death, and new life awaits us in the spirit worlds?

Who will do their childhood repression healing?

Jesus said nicely, as he always seems to, that the meek are going to inherit the Earth. I would say that it will be the fucked who struggle along with nothing to gain and do their feeling-healing – heal their childhood repression.

It all comes to down to a matter or power. From what I have observed and seen within myself, if you feel reasonably happy, content and fulfilled in your life, if your life is going in the direction you want it to and if you can make it do so, then why would you want to change anything. You have a reasonable amount of power, some say in your life, with life looking pretty good. But what if you don’t? What about those people who don’t feel powerful, who don’t feel happy and fulfilled, and always have things wrong without being able to do anything about them?

If you were allowed to have power within your family as you were growing up, then naturally you will have the same power as an adult in the world, your early childhood patterns still asserting themselves. But if whilst growing up you weren’t allowed much or any power in your family then you won’t feel like you have any as an adult. You might pretend or believe you do, but underneath such a false exterior, if you could admit it, you can only feel powerless as determined by the patterns of belief and behaviour you were subjected to and forced to accept as a young child.

Why is it that some people are failures and other successes, and how do we define these terms? And is it such a great thing to be a success in a life that we are all living wrongly? To be a success in a power-seeking world, a world that is driven by fear and deep underlying feelings of powerlessness, all brought about by our abusive parenting, means that to be successful you are living very incorrectly so far as the truth is concerned. So your so-called success is actually taking you further from your true self, you are moving further and deeper into falseness, into the control of your mind; you are in fact not becoming successful in truth as you might like to suppose, but are becoming the very opposite.

Yet if you are a failure, unable to assert yourself, unable to command, compete and make others do what you want them to do, then really, so far as the truth and a true good life is concerned, you are successful as you are not buying into the falseness, the evil, the self-deception and delusion that you are someone of some account.

None of us know what having true power, the power of our true nature is, because we were all stopped from having it as we were growing up. Our parents dominated and controlled us, they ‘bent us to their will’, so all we had within their regime, all we were allowed to do and so were allowed to feel powerful in, is false power and so not real. So being a powerful person in the world is a fantasy as many will testify once all the crutches they need to support themselves are suddenly removed.

As the financial crisis bites hard and sets in, the means to make as much money as you could, the ability to assert your power and maintain your success becomes lessened, and you may start to feel scared, for what will happen to you if you can no longer do it, if you become one of those dreaded failures. What will happen to you as you are pushed back into yourself loosing your ability to control, into the truer self that you are so desperately hiding from. And how will you cope as you start to break down, as the house of cards you have built up starts to crumble. What will you do as you are forced closer to facing your childhood repression and feeling-denial. What happens when you can no longer use money and your standard of living to hide from such bad feelings. What indeed…