I am a horrible person. You won’t like me.

I am a horrible person. You won’t like me. There is nothing to like about me. You’ll hate me. I am very bad. I am the worst. I do awful things. I’m evil. I’m perverted. I’m sick. I’m ugly. I don’t love you. I don’t care about you. I don’t want to know you. I don’t want you bothering me. I don’t want you in my life. I hate you. I hate everything. I hate everything about you. Go away. Leave me alone. Leave me in peace.

When you work your way deep into seeing the truth of how badly, how unlovingly, how appallingly your parents treated you, making you feel repulsed by them, like you will never want to have anything ever again to do with them; and then you realise you are the same as them, you are of them, it’s a terrible blow to your ego. To have to accept and admit that you are just as horrible as them, doing all the same horrible things to yourself, nature and everyone else, even to people you love, is very difficult. It hurts.

To have to face the hard truth that you are evil, rotten, despicable, such an unloving and uncaring person as they are, is… Just wait until you do, then you’ll know what I mean.

And then when you take it further, you begin to realise and have to accept: I am a horrible person, made to be so because of my horrible parents. And if this is true, being shown in my impure self-denying negative state – all shown up as my childhood repression, then so is everyone else. Because we are all living in the negative, all stuffed full of repressed feelings and all that’s resulting from them, from our early childhoods. So we are all horrible people, all desperately not wanting to be so, desperately wanting to be liked and thought well of, doing all we can do cover up our yukness by being ‘friendly, ‘happy’, ‘caring’, ‘loving’…

Paying the Price

If you cross the line you pay the price, and the price will be pain and will be paid in full. The Golden Rule is to never make or force another person or creature go against it’s own will; to make or force them to do what they don’t want to do – to go against and be untrue to themselves. And if you do, even if it’s in a ‘well-meaning’, ‘caring’, ‘loving’ way you are still causing them to hurt themselves by going against themselves and living untrue to their own self-expression. And if you hurt them it means you are already hurting yourself, as you can only do to another what you are doing to yourself. And if you are unaware you are hurting yourself, so too will you be unaware you are hurting them. And in hurting them you will have to suffer the same amount of pain you are making them suffer, bringing upon yourself yet more suffering and pain.

And this is how we parent, it’s how we conduct all our relationships.

We think nothing of yelling at our child forcing it to do what we want it to do, all the while being completely unaware of the damage, hurt and pain we are inflicting on it, or of which we are suffering making us treat another person in this unloving way.

We think nothing of yelling at our dog making it obey us; we think nothing of keeping the bird cooped up in a cage; fish in a tank, and we think nothing of allowing our cat to roam far and wide killing everything that takes its fancy.

And we think nothing of keeping all our farm animals to just make money out of them: to keep the cows in field without shelter, a single horse in a paddock without company, a pig enclosed living on concrete, a chicken…

And we don’t understand that we can do these things to other people and creatures, denying them their true self-expression, because we are already doing such things to ourselves, because that is what was done to us. We don’t understand we were treated this way as children and so we believe and feel it’s right to treat others in the same way.

We don’t understand that we can only do to another what was done to us. And if we were made to suffer and then made to feel that this was okay, it being how life is meant to be, then we naturally won’t see or feel anything wrong by making another suffer and be like ourselves.

We don’t feel our pain and hurt because we weren’t allowed to. We were forced to deny it. Our parents broke the Golden Rule making us believe they loved us when they made us feel so bad.

And we don’t understand, feel or truly appreciate that when we do a bad thing to someone else we too are going to suffer for it. Sure if we murder or rape or use another for our own ends guilt will catch up with us sometime, but we still fail to understand that it’s in all those seemingly ‘acceptable’ little daily things we do to ourselves, other creatures and other people – even to those we love – that are wrong and will one day cause us to feel the pain of the wrongdoing.

And we don’t understand because mostly we are too shut off to our bad feelings. If we weren’t and we crossed the line, immediately we would have hurt another in any way – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychically – we’d feel bad, we’d feel the same amount of pain we’d inflicted on them. And so naturally wouldn’t want to keep behaving as we are.

And we still fail to understand that there are natural laws in place governing Creation. That in fact we don’t have to make up any laws ourselves. And that if we were all living true to ourselves as soon as we did something bad to another person or creature we’d know we’d hurt and disrespected them because we too would feel bad, as if the bad thing had been done to us. So life would naturally educate us through our feelings as to what was right and wrong and how to conduct relationships in a loving way.

Life would be so much simpler and we wouldn’t need all our manmade laws, all which are necessary only because and to show us just how removed from our true selves we have become. The more laws we need the further away from our true nature we are getting. And the more untrue we are living, the more shut off from our true feelings we are and so the more pain we inflict on ourselves and on others .

Having masses of laws is not a statement of a civilised society, it’s a statement of in what a bad way we are – how unloving of ourselves and each we are and accept as being ‘right’.

We are only cruel to others and nature because we are cruel to ourselves. And we are only cruel to ourselves because our parents were cruel to us. And our parents were only cruel to us because their parents were cruel to them. And their parents were cruel to them only because their parents were cruel to them. And their parents were cruel…

Paying the Price.

If you cross the line you pay the price, and the price will be pain and will be paid in full. The Golden Rule is to never make or force another person or creature go against it’s own will; to make or force them to do what they don’t want to do – to go against and be untrue to themselves. And if you do, even if it’s in a ‘well-meaning’, ‘caring’, ‘loving’ way you are still causing them to hurt themselves by going against themselves and living untrue to their own self-expression. And if you hurt them it means you are already hurting yourself, as you can only do to another what you are doing to yourself. And if you are unaware you are hurting yourself, so too will you be unaware you are hurting them. And in hurting them you will have to suffer the same amount of pain you are making them suffer, bringing upon yourself yet more suffering and pain.

And this is how we parent, it’s how we conduct all our relationships.

We think nothing of yelling at our child forcing it to do what we want it to do, all the while being completely unaware of the damage, hurt and pain we are inflicting on it, or of which we are suffering making us treat another person in this unloving way.

We think nothing of yelling at our dog making it obey us; we think nothing of keeping the bird cooped up in a cage; fish in a tank, and we think nothing of allowing our cat to roam far and wide killing everything that takes its fancy.

And we think nothing of keeping all our farm animals to just make money out of them: to keep the cows in field without shelter, a single horse in a paddock without company, a pig enclosed living on concrete, a chicken…

And we don’t understand that we can do these things to other people and creatures, denying them their true self-expression, because we are already doing such things to ourselves, because that is what was done to us. We don’t understand we were treated this way as children and so we believe and feel it’s right to treat others in the same way.

We don’t understand that we can only do to another what was done to us. And if we were made to suffer and then made to feel that this was okay, it being how life is meant to be, then we naturally won’t see or feel anything wrong by making another suffer and be like ourselves.

We don’t feel our pain and hurt because we weren’t allowed to. We were forced to deny it. Our parents broke the Golden Rule making us believe they loved us when they made us feel so bad.

And we don’t understand, feel or truly appreciate that when we do a bad thing to someone else we too are going to suffer for it. Sure if we murder or rape or use another for our own ends guilt will catch up with us sometime, but we still fail to understand that it’s in all those seemingly ‘acceptable’ little daily things we do to ourselves, other creatures and other people – even to those we love – that are wrong and will one day cause us to feel the pain of the wrongdoing.

And we don’t understand because mostly we are too shut off to our bad feelings. If we weren’t and we crossed the line, immediately we would have hurt another in any way – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychically – we’d feel bad, we’d feel the same amount of pain we’d inflicted on them. And so naturally wouldn’t want to keep behaving as we are.

And we still fail to understand that there are natural laws in place governing Creation. That in fact we don’t have to make up any laws ourselves. And that if we were all living true to ourselves as soon as we did something bad to another person or creature we’d know we’d hurt and disrespected them because we too would feel bad, as if the bad thing had been done to us. So life would naturally educate us through our feelings as to what was right and wrong and how to conduct relationships in a loving way.

Life would be so much simpler and we wouldn’t need all our manmade laws, all which are necessary only because and to show us just how removed from our true selves we have become. The more laws we need the further away from our true nature we are getting. And the more untrue we are living, the more shut off from our true feelings we are and so the more pain we inflict on ourselves and on others .

Having masses of laws is not a statement of a civilised society, it’s a statement of in what a bad way we are – how unloving of ourselves and each we are and accept as being ‘right’.

We are only cruel to others and nature because we are cruel to ourselves. And we are only cruel to ourselves because our parents were cruel to us. And our parents were only cruel to us because their parents were cruel to them. And their parents were cruel to them only because their parents were cruel to them. And their parents were cruel…