God hates me

Why does God make all the bad things happen to me? Why does God make me have such a shit life? Why does God hate me? Other people have a good like, but I don’t – and why not? What’s so wrong with me? What did I do? Why does God take it all out on me? Why do I have to be punished so much? It’s so unfair. I don’t want to always be feeling bad. I want to feel good and enjoy my life. So why can’t I? Why won’t You give me a good life God? Why do You hate me?

Why do I feel that God hates me? I don’t actually know if God does hate me – it’s just what I feel. But are my feelings real and true? I don’t know because I’m not real and true.

From what I understand, when we are little it’s our parents who are god. Our parents are everything. Nothing else exists other than them. We ‘absorb’ all we need from them (and other influential ‘carers’). Our mind and feeling systems aren’t developed enough to include anyone else. Then we grow up seeing the world through their eyes, with our patterns of belief and behaviour having been formed around how our parents ‘parented’ – treated – us.

So we grow up feeling like and believing we’ve grown up to become a unique individual, which of course from our personality perspective we can be nothing else, but when we do our feeling-healing working our way through our childhood repression, we soon see just how much of what we thought was our own unique individuality is from our parents, how much we’ve simply adopted from them making it ours.

And so it is with God. Our relationship with God actually begins with our relationship with our parents. So if we feel hated by our parents we’ll feel hated by God. If we feel loved by our parents we’ll feel loved by God. And then on top of this truth comes all the other yuk – the wrong beliefs, fears, negative behaviours and patterns, making the truth of our relationship with God and our parents very difficult to find.  We might, for example, feel we love God and that God loves us, but this may only be a self-imposed belief (the same as believing our parents love us and we love them) and not something based on true life experience.  It might be something we desperately want to believe to be true, yet without any experiential foundation to substantiate such belief, how can we know if we’re simply not lying to ourselves.

All I am presenting about childhood repression and using what I call Feeling-Healing to heal it, is based on the idea of using your bad feelings to go deep into yourself to find out the truth of what really is going on within you – what really you are feeling.

And so when you come to hating and having to express all your bad feelings about God, all I want you to understand is that it’s not really about God, it is, as it always is, all about your feelings. So you can use your hatred of God to help you look deeper into your relationship with your parents, to see your hatred of them. And conversely, as you uncover your hatred of your parents, so too might you uncover your hatred of God, seeing what your relationship with God is really based on.

We’ve had it pushed down out throats until we’re gagging on it that God loves us, and yet we only have to look at ourselves and our lives to wonder, if this is so, then were is all this love. For if it were so, surely we’d feel it and be living a life of complete joy and happiness. However the truth is God may love us as it is said, but truly we’ll never be able to feel this for certain until we’ve first healed all our unloving feelings we feel from our parents. All the pain and suffering caused us by our parents is blocking any true relationship we can have with God. Of course we can believe we love God and that God loves us, and we can swoon with the love of God as it fills our soul and courses through our veins as some people seem to experience, but this is still all based on beliefs from our early childhood, often our offsetting all the pain, hatred and rejection we felt from our parents by looking to God to be our great loving better and ‘new’ parents.  But it’s all a fantasy, just as is all the so-called mind generated love we feel for and from God. It’s all unreal as will be shown to you as you work your way through your childhood repression healing.

We can’t have a true relationship with God until we are having a true relationship with ourselves. And we can’t have a true relationship with ourself until we have a true relationship with our parents. And as we can’t go back and start again with our parents being unconditionally loving, all-accepting and no longer of a negative state of being, we can only, through our feeling-healing, heal them ‘within’ us.  We can only seek to perfect all their imperfect legacy, that which we’ve taken on from them. And whilst we’re in and of a negative state of mind and will, the truth of this legacy will all be about how unloved we feel by our parents and how much we hate them for it.

When all your hidden suppressed bad feelings have been brought to light, when you’ve uncovered the whole truth of your negative state, then you will be free to enter into a true relationship with God (and with everyone else for that matter), being able to truly feel from your heart and without any mind and belief interference what true love feels like. Then you will finally be free of your early parenting restrictions and limitations. Then you will be fully the true and unique adult and child of God that you are.

Just keep on praying

Pray it away, get rid of those bad feelings, that’s what you’ve got to do. That’s what you’ve been taught, that’s what you believe is best for you. And at all costs, don’t to the opposite and accept them, allowing yourself to feel bad so you can face the truth of why you do.

No way, that would be terrible, no, you have to keep up your faith, hold firm to your belief, and never stop praying.

If you stop doing it then all hell will break loose. If you stop doing it then you will feel vulnerable. If you stop doing it then you’ll be at the mercy of the Evil One – Satin, the DEVIL! And we can’t have that now, can we?

But why do you fear the Devil, evil, and all that it makes you feel? Why are you so scared? Other people aren’t scared of evil or of the Devil as you are?

But no, you can’t allow any cracks in your armour, you’ve got to keep up the good work – religiously keep praying. You have to show, to the Devil, that you are the ‘holy’ one, that your heart is pure, all so it will know to leave you alone. Prayer is your shield, keep it up at all times!

And yet it’s all a bit late for that. You are already of a negative mind and will state, and so you are already self- and feeling-denying and so living in an evil state of being. Evil has already got you – you are already it. And as you no doubt know: evil is the denial of truth. The ‘Devil’ wants to destroy all that is true, pure and good. And yet you are already denying yourself, your true self being that which is true, pure and perfect – so aren’t you your own devil? And you started denying yourself at conception. So you’re not only fighting a loosing battle, but the battle is well and truly over – and you lost. No amount of prayer is going to ’save’ you.

But you are still fighting, you cannot stop fighting. The Devil is still ‘real’. So who is it that you’re still really fighting? The Devil already has you as seen by your self-denying negative state of mind and will, showing up in your childhood repression, so why fight on?

And who you are fighting, and will forever fight against (until you do your feeling- or soul-healing), is your parents – fighting against all they did to you, how they treated you during your forming years. And because of this, one can only deduce that it’s not actually the Devil you are fighting but your very own PATENTS as they are true EVIL ONES.

The devil doesn’t exist, it’s only something made up by those people who can’t face the truth that it’s really their own parents they are desperately scared of. It’s all very convenient to say you are good and ‘out there’ is the BAD ONE. Because that was how you felt as a young child, and it was true, you were good and your parents were the bad ones. However you can’t grow up admitting this, you ‘love’ your parents and they ‘love’ you, so it has to be an unseen force, something out there that lurks unseen in the dark depths of your imagination. It can’t under any circumstances be what’s standing right in front of your face out in broad daylight – your parents.

And the sad truth is: you can’t pray your parents away.

Deluding yourself with meditation?

So you sit on your bum and meditate. For moments, minutes, hours – even days, do you meditate. And for what purpose? Enlightenment? Transcendence? Higher knowledge? Wisdom, peace, bliss? Clarity of mind, stress release, relaxation and enjoyment? Or, just to escape?

And do you look at a blank dark screen in your mind, or do you allow pictures to flow, perhaps ‘inner’ voices speak to you and you to them; or is it that you just go in and in and down or up or wherever it is you go as you move into your altered state of mind? Or is it that you say that special and secret word, make a ‘vibration’, contemplate the meaning of…

And what really are you doing it all for?

And the answer is: to make yourself feel better.

And why do you want to make yourself feel better?

Because you feel bad.

And what is it about feeling bad that you don’t like? It’s feeling BAD.

So what you are really doing is doing all you can to stop yourself from feeling bad – right?

However you are not dealing with the deep underlying problems that are making you feel bad in the first place, all the yuk from your childhood repression. Because if you were, then there’d be no way you could sit on your bum in a mind altered state. Your bad feelings would be intruding too heavily pushing you to accept, express and seek the truth of the them.

And it’s this intrusion, the intrusion on your life by feeling bad that you hate and want to get rid of. Which really is the intrusion into your life from your parents, as they are whom made you feel bad in the first place causing your childhood repression and all you want to run away from.

So really you’re out there or ‘in there’ doing all you can to block out and escape from the intrusion of your parents. And so there we have it. Do you see – it’s the Great Truth! And it’s that you are doing your mediation (or prayers), you are involved in your spiritual (or religious) practice, solely to avoid your parents, all because they and their unloving and negative influences are still very much ‘alive’ and affecting you. Because if they weren’t you’d have no repressed childhood yuk within you and you wouldn’t be feeling bad.

And so you wouldn’t need to do what you’re doing trying to feel good. Your spiritual or religious practices would be for you to seriously grow in truth, helping you uncover the truth of yourself through your feelings, and not using them to run away from your bad feelings as fast are your meditation or prayer will take you. So your spiritual or religious system wouldn’t exist as it is. And so I’m afraid to say, all that you are doing is just fantasy, helping you to further your self-indulgent negative mind and will state.

Why would you want to be a therapist?

Because it’s a way you can gain power.

Everything we do in our negative orientated mind and will lives is to gain power, an attempt to re-gain the power our parents deprived us of naturally feeling and expressing as we grew up.

Our parenting is mostly all negative, yet we call it loving. So much of it had a negative unloving effect on us as seen by our having repressed childhood feelings – our childhood repression. And yet we call it all love.

In our unloving states as we grew up we felt powerless many times. Just look at how parents treat their children – does the child have equal power with the adult? No, the whole thing about being a child, so we seem to believe, is that the child is inferior and can’t nor shouldn’t have equal power. And so by treating our children this way we make them feel powerless, we’re always de-powering them, always pulling the rug out from under them. We might try and pump them up in other ways, trying to make them feel all-powerful and loved, but it’s all too late, and all on a condition of previous powerlessness.

And as children we don’t want to feel powerless. We do all we can to gain power within our family, some people being more successful at it than others. Yet it’s still all ONLY a subset of our parents all-powerful dominion.

And so all we do as adults is done to try and maintain our false-power within our powerless states, within our negative condition. And so those people who feel they can help others by being a therapist really see being a therapist as their means of having power, of trying to make up some of their childhood power deficit. And it’s acceptable. Being a therapist is ‘good’, so we all say, it’s a good way to try and re-gain power. Whereas being a murder is bad, that is unacceptable and not the ‘right’ way to re-gain power. And the therapist is held in high esteem, they can actually help others to shed some of their feelings of powerlessness possibly helping or enabling them to find new ways of re-gaining some of their lost and denied power.

So is it good to seek to gain power by using others to do so? Or is it that we’re happy, or at least pretend we are happy, with the trade off. We allow the therapist to use us because we believe and feel we are getting something out of it, something that will eventually and hopefully make us feel more powerful and better about ourselves? And so, is it right that therapists say you must not attempt to do your childhood repression healing without their help, and if you do… look out, all manner of bad things might happen to you.

And yet don’t misunderstand me, I only want to point out the truth of such things as I have come to see them. And I also understand that within our fuckedness we do need help, and help from those who may be using us to gain power. But that’s how it is within the negative – it can’t be any other way. But in time as you progress in your feeling-healing, the truth will come and along with it your own feelings of power – true power. And so your need to be dependant on such help from anyone else will diminish, to one day, end, the day when your childhood repression healing is over and you no longer feel powerless and under the regime of your parents. And what a great day that will be!

When you leave your therapist, then the real work begins

When you leave your therapist and start working to find the truth of your childhood repression through your own daily bad feelings – then the real work begins.

You can only do so much with professional help. You can achieve a lot, but it will pale in comparison to what you’ll achieve when you finally start to go it alone.

You might even feel and believe you have fully healed yourself all thanks to the help from your therapist, but in that you’ll sadly be wrong. You will never completely heal yourself of ALL your childhood repression until you start to uncover the truth of it through all the bad feelings you are still denying.

Being with your therapist can certainly open up many hidden doors within you, and can expose and bring to light much pain and truth; and it may even enable you to feel good enough about yourself and your life to carry on pounding the treadmill, however it will be nothing like the doors that will open when you want to start looking into the truth of all you feel just in your daily life with your partner and friend.

You see, your whole childhood repression is all about you feeling powerless – your parents having treated you in such ways as to make you feel bad about yourself and your life. And the simple act of you going to your therapist, needing their help, confirms and is an expression of this. You are still needing the authority person to help tell you how to be and what to feel in life. Your therapist might not intrude on your self-expression when you are with them, they may be a good friend and helping witness, but still you are in the subservient position, still you are coming under their power and dominance. And the simple fact that they even want to be a therapist means they are using you, their client, to gain some of the power they feel they don’t have. So do you see, it’s not a balanced relationship you are having with then, and it never can be. And it’s still just the same as it was with your parents. You were not an equal person with then, nor are you an equal person with your therapist. But when you step away and face doing your childhood repression healing, as in through your feeling- or soul-healing, with no one other than your partner or equal friend to listen to your bad feeling expression, then you will no longer be in the lesser position, then you will no longer need to have the overshadowing of authority in your life. And then it’s all up to you – you have to find the truth of yourself within yourself all by yourself. And this can be very scary.

Many therapists themselves fear this. They say you can’t do your childhood repression feeling without them, without their support and wise guidance. But this is still just more of the same you got from your parents, them telling you the same things. All so you don’t leave them, all so you remain forever dependant on them, all so you are never free to fall down the holes in life for yourself if that is what is meant to happen.

And so whilst you’re under your therapists ‘wing’ you will limit your self- and feeling expression. You will never feel equal, and indeed be equal, free to slog it out with your partner and friend. Free to uncover the truth of your bad feelings all through the ongoing daily grind of everyday life. And this is what we all need to do, as it was during our early life grinding along with our parents that our childhood repression came about.

You can do all of your childhood repression healing without a therapist if that is what you feel you want to do. However, if this is too much and you need such professional help, then this is what you must do – you ALWAYS do what you feel you want to do. And once you are free enough to finally leave your therapist, then the real work can begin. Then you will be stepping out being your own therapist. Then you’ll be moving away from the control of your parents looking to freely control yourself.

Evil – the denial of personality

We live in a negative self-denying state of mind and will, and consequently we are evil. We can blame each other for being evil: ‘he’s evil, look at all the evil things he does, whereas I am not, I am good, look at all the good, kind and loving things I do’, and yet it’s still all within the negative, all within evil.

We live on a world that exists in rebellion against all that is good and loving, all that is right and true – all that is perfect. We only need look at our relationship with nature to see this. We see the other creatures that share our world as things to use and abuse to make us feel good – to give us feelings of power. We denigrate our environment not because we love it so much, but because we feel so denuded of love ourselves. And something that is true, pure and perfect we can’t allow to exist just as our parents didn’t allow us to exist in our true and perfect states when we were coming into being. Nature must come down to our level and be as we are, as that is all we know.

When we look at how many bad feelings we fail to allow ourselves to feel – feelings that are us, feelings that want and should be expressed – we can only conclude that something is very wrong. And it is. We exist in rebellion against our own nature, we use and abuse ourselves trying to maintain the corruption that exists within us. We only abuse nature because we abuse our own nature, because our parents abused us – it’s what we’ve learnt to sadly believe is the right way to be. We don’t seek to be kind and caring to ourselves by stopping our feeling- and self-denial, we do the very opposite. And in doing so we are stopping ourselves from freely and fully expressing all we are – our personality.

God is Personality. We don’t really understand this, nor understand it’s significance. We can accept and willingly say, God is love, but that allows us to keep the Personality of God somewhat removed from ourselves. Were we to accept that God is Personality, then we’d come to understand that personality is very important. And we’d begin to see that all of Creation is God expressing Their Personality. The Mother and Father have a feeling and they express it. We – humanity – are a result of one such ‘feeling’. God doesn’t hold back in Their expression of personality, allowing both the perfect and imperfect to exist side by side, so why do we?

To understand the problems of humanity – and indeed we all know we do have many – one needs to understand that expression of personality is above all else, for without it there is no love. If there is no personality how can you experience love? Sure love may still exist, but without full personality expression you’ll never know about it.

So we need to attend to our personality understanding how we are denying its full expression – our personality being the sum total of ALL our attributes that define us as the individual we are, including all our thoughts, feelings, emotions, dreams, aspirations, desires together with all our physical, spiritual and behavioural characteristics. We need to look to God as Personality so we can look our own personality. And it doesn’t take much to see that we are living anti-personality, anti what we’ve been created to be.

We are meant to be the shining glory of our personality, not shrivelled up, disease ridden, poor pathetic creatures addicted to all sorts of things that are harmful to us and help to keep our self and personality denial in place.

Look at how addicted you are to your wrong childhood beliefs and behaviours, all of which are driving and maintaining your self-destructive rebellious negative state of being. Look at what your parents did to you and what you are still doing to yourself – look at what you are doing to your own children. Your parents didn’t want to know you as you wanted them to, they didn’t allow you to fully and freely come into being. They told you how they wanted you to be applying many conditions, and you had no option but to comply.

Your parents treated you evilly, and so now you evilly treat yourself, along with evilly treating everyone and everything else you have anything to do with. And by denying yet one small part of your personality, by not freely and fully expressing it – ALL Of YOURSELF, you are not being true, perfect and so are untrue, imperfect – evil. And as none of us want to see and accept this about ourselves, we all put on a false face, false smile, and pretend we are happy and all-loving. All whilst we set about doing to our children all the wrong that was done to us.

Humanity can’t go on denying itself its full personality expression unless it just wants to exist in ever increasing amounts of pain and suffering. Has the world with modernisation – ‘the answer to everything’ – actually decreased its pain and suffering? I don’t think so. And so we will only continue to feel worse and have to do more extreme things to ourselves hiding these bad feelings as we ‘progress’. And one day we’ll start to wake up and wise up to the fact that our type of progress is only progressing deeper into our unloving negative states. That it’s all an illusion that it’s making us feel happier, healthier and more loving. That it’s all only taking us further away from our true selves, deeper into our self- and feeling denial, deeper into personality suppression. Deeper into our evil state of anti love and anti all that is good, true and beautiful.

Yelling at your child – again!

Your child makes you angry – again! The anger rushes up in you. It’s a wild force, too strong, too overwhelming to be controlled. It surges up in you and what can you do with it other than deliver it like a full punch to your child – to the offending person. In your rage and fury you want to kill it, not just stop it, but blast it off the face of the earth, wipe it out, get rid of it completely. It’s no longer your sweet little child whom you ‘love’ so much, it’s all your fear being slammed in your face and your anger rushes up trying to protect yourself from the evil monster that is threatening your life. So you bash into your child. It may only be verbally, it may also be physically, but you want to smash it down, crunch it, quickly bringing it back under your control.

For deeply buried reasons that you are not aware of your child has pushed all your warning buttons, you react ‘not being yourself’ as your power is being threatened. You don’t want to loose your power because to feel so powerless means you feel all those terrible bad feelings you dread, all those shocking feelings you felt when your parents did exactly what you are now doing to your child, all of which you have forced yourself to forget, bury and deny.

So your little child has become you and you are now back with your parent who is yelling and abusing you, repeating the same unloving pattern – yet again. And you are helplessly trapped in it. You have crossed the line, left yourself, denying your own bad feelings, all to stop the other person from making you feel bad. You want to stop them making you feel bad by crunching them because you don’t know what else to do – and how can you as there never was another way, your parents only ever treated you this way, just as they themselves were only ever treated by their parents.

But in crossing the line, not only are you hurting your own precious little child, you are also hurting your own precious self. You are blatantly disregarding your feelings – your bad feelings, all the fear that is giving rise to your anger. You are disregarding yourself just as you are disregarding your own child. In the blaze of anger no ones feelings can be regarded, all goes to shit, all needing to be destroyed.

There is no staying on your side of the fence and accepting and speaking about all the bad feelings your child is making your feel. Allowing yourself to be sympathetic to yourself, to all you are feeling, even including your anger. You are dismissing and denying yourself with the only result being to abuse your child. You are a child-abuser and in that very moment the worst kind because your child is going to develop those very same patterns of self- and feeling-denial that you have developed from your own parents. You are killing them, only not so much physically, but you are preventing them from freely expressing their emerging personality – so your anger is doing what you want with it, you are getting your way, yet in ways you are not readily aware of. And if your child actually stops what it’s doing and takes notice of you then that’s an added bonus, you can retain your power and control.

And in this state you still need an outlet, but one that is not your child. And that outlet is with your partner, with someone you can yell and express all your anger to and speak about how bad your feelings are making you feel – how bad your child is making you feel. Your rage needs to be vented but not on the innocent one, you need to stay on your side and vent to someone, another adult, who can cope with it – a friend, someone who will understand and be the kind, caring, sympathetic parent you didn’t have. Someone who will listen to you and take you seriously. Someone who won’t judge you or tell you what to do or make you stop. Someone with whom you can just go for it with allowing yourself to finally say all those horrible things you’ve wanted to say back to your own unloving, uncaring parents. And if you can’t do it in the moment with your partner, then when you can. Put yourself back in your bad feelings, allow your rage to be ignited again, and go for it.

There is always another way, but that way is hard, if not impossible, to see because we are rendered blind by our parenting and resulting patterns. But the way is still there, and it can be found were you to want to seek the truth of yourself, doing your feeling-healing and stop denying your bad feelings. And when it is revealed then surprisingly you may find that your relationship with your child changes, and so much so, that it won’t even do what was pushing your buttons because there is no need for it to do so anymore as you no longer have such buttons within you to be pushed.

As parents are the leaders, as you change, so too will your child. With your child being there to help you uncover and reveal the truth of yourself. The child whilst it’s forming is somewhat like nature, but even more so, there to reflect back to you exactly as you are. So if your child is making your angry, it’s not actually your child that is making you angry, it’s really yourself, you’re doing it all to yourself, with your child lovingly and selflessly showing – reflecting – back to you this aspect of yourself you are not paying attention to. And instead of being ever so grateful for it lovingly helping you, you erupt unconsciously with your anger, crunching down hard on it blaming it for being the evil one. When the sad truth is – you are the Evil One, not your innocent little blameless child.

IT’S MY TURN NOW!

I had to obey my parents – NOW YOU HAVE TO OBEY ME! And you just have to, because I say. I don’t need a reason, I don’t need to justify it, I don’t need to tell you why – YOU JUST DO! You do because I say so – AND THAT IS ENOUGH! I am the parent now, you are not, you are the child – I HAVE THE POWER. You do not.

When I was a child they had power over me. They made me feel powerless. I was powerless. I had no say – no say in my own life. They had all the say and I had to obey. The were BIG, I was small, and that was enough. What could I do? Nothing. And I hated it. I hated them. I hated how they treated me – their own child.

And I wanted to smash them. I wanted to scream and yell and make them stop. I tried but it did me no good. But I still wanted to and still do want to even though I had to bury and repress such bad feelings. I want to rage. I want to tell them how much they have hurt me. I want to tell them how much I feel unloved by them – my own parents.

I want to smash my anger and rage all over them, but I can’t. So what can I do with it all? I look around to dump it on someone else. Someone lesser than I. And I find that person – my own child. And I breathe a sigh of relief as finally, FINALLY, there is someone I have power over. Finally I can make someone do what I want. Finally I can make them be how I want them to be. Finally I am BIG and they are small. And they don’t get a say. They can protest and try to resist all they want but it won’t get them anywhere. Because I am the strong one and they are weak. They loose; I win. And I feel good. I can even say to them: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. And they can’t say anything other than they love me too more than anything in the world, because if they don’t say it, I’ll smash them. And they know it. I’ve done it plenty of times before.

My parents made me feel bad, so I want to make someone or something else feel bad, even if I do it in my imagination. I can’t make them feel bad, I am too powerless with them to do that – they had all the power. But I can make someone or something else that is not them feel bad. And that is how it is meant to be – isn’t it? Isn’t it what they taught me? Isn’t it how we are meant to live our lives? When it’s our turn, when we’ve grown up, then we can be the boss, then we can do all we want, then no one can tell us NO! STOP THAT! and stop us. Then we are free. And we all want to be free – RIGHT!

Free to finally make another person or creature feel bad. And it’s so easy to do. Just have a child, it couldn’t be easier…

Paying the Price.

If you cross the line you pay the price, and the price will be pain and will be paid in full. The Golden Rule is to never make or force another person or creature go against it’s own will; to make or force them to do what they don’t want to do – to go against and be untrue to themselves. And if you do, even if it’s in a ‘well-meaning’, ‘caring’, ‘loving’ way you are still causing them to hurt themselves by going against themselves and living untrue to their own self-expression. And if you hurt them it means you are already hurting yourself, as you can only do to another what you are doing to yourself. And if you are unaware you are hurting yourself, so too will you be unaware you are hurting them. And in hurting them you will have to suffer the same amount of pain you are making them suffer, bringing upon yourself yet more suffering and pain.

And this is how we parent, it’s how we conduct all our relationships.

We think nothing of yelling at our child forcing it to do what we want it to do, all the while being completely unaware of the damage, hurt and pain we are inflicting on it, or of which we are suffering making us treat another person in this unloving way.

We think nothing of yelling at our dog making it obey us; we think nothing of keeping the bird cooped up in a cage; fish in a tank, and we think nothing of allowing our cat to roam far and wide killing everything that takes its fancy.

And we think nothing of keeping all our farm animals to just make money out of them: to keep the cows in field without shelter, a single horse in a paddock without company, a pig enclosed living on concrete, a chicken…

And we don’t understand that we can do these things to other people and creatures, denying them their true self-expression, because we are already doing such things to ourselves, because that is what was done to us. We don’t understand we were treated this way as children and so we believe and feel it’s right to treat others in the same way.

We don’t understand that we can only do to another what was done to us. And if we were made to suffer and then made to feel that this was okay, it being how life is meant to be, then we naturally won’t see or feel anything wrong by making another suffer and be like ourselves.

We don’t feel our pain and hurt because we weren’t allowed to. We were forced to deny it. Our parents broke the Golden Rule making us believe they loved us when they made us feel so bad.

And we don’t understand, feel or truly appreciate that when we do a bad thing to someone else we too are going to suffer for it. Sure if we murder or rape or use another for our own ends guilt will catch up with us sometime, but we still fail to understand that it’s in all those seemingly ‘acceptable’ little daily things we do to ourselves, other creatures and other people – even to those we love – that are wrong and will one day cause us to feel the pain of the wrongdoing.

And we don’t understand because mostly we are too shut off to our bad feelings. If we weren’t and we crossed the line, immediately we would have hurt another in any way – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychically – we’d feel bad, we’d feel the same amount of pain we’d inflicted on them. And so naturally wouldn’t want to keep behaving as we are.

And we still fail to understand that there are natural laws in place governing Creation. That in fact we don’t have to make up any laws ourselves. And that if we were all living true to ourselves as soon as we did something bad to another person or creature we’d know we’d hurt and disrespected them because we too would feel bad, as if the bad thing had been done to us. So life would naturally educate us through our feelings as to what was right and wrong and how to conduct relationships in a loving way.

Life would be so much simpler and we wouldn’t need all our manmade laws, all which are necessary only because and to show us just how removed from our true selves we have become. The more laws we need the further away from our true nature we are getting. And the more untrue we are living, the more shut off from our true feelings we are and so the more pain we inflict on ourselves and on others .

Having masses of laws is not a statement of a civilised society, it’s a statement of in what a bad way we are – how unloving of ourselves and each we are and accept as being ‘right’.

We are only cruel to others and nature because we are cruel to ourselves. And we are only cruel to ourselves because our parents were cruel to us. And our parents were only cruel to us because their parents were cruel to them. And their parents were cruel to them only because their parents were cruel to them. And their parents were cruel…

The creatures aren’t mean to their offspring, so why are we?

Mum and dad Cape Barren Goose stand together in the field near the dam with their six cute little fluff-ball chicks pecking around under and between them.

It’s such a lovely sight seeing how caring, how lovingly devoted the parents are to their little ones. As soon as anything threatens, father goose is off wings raised chasing away the intruder. Mother goose spreads her wings sitting down and all six chicks somehow manage to squeeze in under her all warm and safe in her soft feathery down.

Why is it that nature cares so well for it’s young, it supposedly being ‘inferior’ to us, and yet we ‘great ones’ yell, hit, criticise, chastise, correct, abuse, beat down to nothing, our children? Why as parents are we always interfering with our children, always telling them what they can and can’t do – always dominating and controlling them?

Why are we so mean and nasty to our children?

Why aren’t we as devoted, gentle, kind, caring, respectful and considerate of our children as the parent Geese are? The Geese parents don’t interfere with their chicks, they never tell them what they can and can’t do. Nature is unconditional in its love whereas we are conditional – why?

Why is it that we insist on living in a world that is anti-children, anti-nature, not basing everything we do around the weaker ones? Not putting the weaker, ‘lesser’, ones first?

Why is it that we say we love each other, that our children are the most precious things to us, and yet all we do is abuse and traumatise them treating them like shit?

Why is it that I hear little children so often crying, when I never hear the little baby chicks crying?

Why is it we are so wrong, living so far away from the truth of ourselves?

And why is it that we refuse to see how horribly unloving we are?

Why weren’t my mum and dad like the Geese mum and dad? Why didn’t they completely love me so I could grow up being as loving as they were, able to love my children like those little dark-stripped chicks will grow up to do?

Why don’t we get it, still after all these countless numbers of generations? What is wrong with our superior brains?