As I have said, I grew up believing I was loved by my parents. And I believed I loved them. And with my brother and sister we all lived in a relatively happy family. Yet my childhood repression has shown me otherwise. It has shown me through my buried early feeling-memories from my early childhood that this wasn’t the case, that there wasn’t any real or true love, it was all a fabricated ‘love’ based mostly on words and a desperate need to believe it was love.
On this blog and in my other writings on my Childhood Repression web site, I want to bring into question – love: is it real and true that which we call and even feel to be love? I want to aim for the bottom line, that being that it’s not love – that nothing we say or call love is real or true love. That it is all just something we’ve made up in and with our minds. And that it can’t be real, pure and true love because we are not living real, pure and true lives. We are not perfect, being imperfect as seen by the fact that we all have repressed early childhood feelings buried deep within us, all of which effectively taint that which we call love.
Generally, if I were make a gross generalised statement, I would say that if one feels wanted, accepted and involved within in one parents lives whilst growing up, then one will feel loved and so love them. And one will feel reasonably secure, confident and self-assured. And if one doesn’t feel wanted, accepted or involved, then one grows up feeling insecure, unconfident and scared of most things. And so if life works for you, as another gross generalisation, it will be because you had a good and loving relationship with your parents during your forming years, and if it doesn’t work, then you didn’t.
And what I want to highlight is the fact that this so-called love may not be what it is. I want to question it, to put the spotlight on it, and I want to know if it is genuinely real and true or if it is not.
And it will take people doing their childhood repression healing, completely healing their negative self-denying state of mind and will, to uncover the truth within themselves as to whether all they feel and believe to be love is love. For if it is true, real and pure then it will hold up through the healing scrutiny of suppressed bad feelings surfacing as they are allowed to. And if it doesn’t hold up, it will prove to be false and untrue.
I firmly believe we all live self-created fantasies, some people more happy about what they achieve than others. And all ‘love’ within them is false. Certainly within our feeling-denying negative states we can feel good and bad, perhaps even ‘loved’, but it’s still all within the negative, so ultimately none of it is real and true.
And I believe that until we accept this, and want to scrutinised all that we call love, we’ll never feel truly happy, and life will go on as it has with countless numbers of us wondering why we’re not happy and don’t feel loved. With the answer being what we dare not face – that we’re NOT loved and AREN’T happy, because we NEVER were.
